From A Village Idiot

Urban Naxals at Uzan Bazar

Pankaz K Sharma

Many years later, as he stood in front of his vast land holdings in North Guwahati, Colonel Potbellyano Rotundia remembered the distant afternoon, when he had begun the process of accumulating immense wealth. And yet, there were still plots of land to be purchased/owned, so that once the bridge over Brahmaputra to Kuruaa got built, he could harvest premium price on these plots.

Assam was a young place then, with the new government that promised to bring in change, transparency, and development in power for only about two and a half years. The year was 2019, and a great son of Assam (AG, short for "absolute genius") was demanding to know important things from people who were stopping the progress of the nation and working against its interests. This gentleman, AG, initiated to the ignorant and clueless the dangers of despicable species such as the urban naxals, the anti-nationals, the traitors and suchlike.

The VIP (for the "village idiot person) used to watch the nightly blistering of AG and used to wonder what would happen to the nation, if the urban naxals (or their agents) won the elections and took the reins of the country! On such an afternoon, morose and worried, VIP took a stroll from his home to the banks of the Brahmaputra via Uzan Bazar in Guwahati. And what did he notice? An SUV with a sticker that said, "UN" and below which was there am image of two hemi-spheres with the maps of the various nations on it.

VIP panicked; so finally AG sir's words have come true. Now the urban naxals not only roam openly, but have the letters UN written on their vehicles, to express their desire for world dominance. VIP decided to talk to RK (for "Rigorously Knowledgeable") to confirm that his doubts where not unfounded. VIP went to RK's home that same evening, who was found slanted on his arm-chair busy reading Das Kapital.

RK, however, sounded unconvin-ced. As a disciple of the venerable HG ("Heavy-duty Genius"), whom his followers called Goatee Sir, he was sure that Sir would have talked about it, had there really been urban naxals in Guwahati. RK would have like to call Goatee Sir and inform this right away, but this was not the correct hour of the day to disturb Sir.

VIP insisted, "Please believe me. I saw the SUV myself. It has a sticker with the letters UN printed on it, and the image of the two hemispheres. How can I disbelief what I myself saw?"

RK smiled and replied, "UN? That must be United Nations."

VIP countered, "No Sir, no. Are you not aware of the phrase by Kevin Spacey, 'The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the World he didn't exist.'? This is what is happening here too, Sir. The urban naxals live right under our nose, yet we people do not believe it."

Unfortunately, the clock struck eight, and VIP had to rush back to be home on time to catch AG's debate.

[Pankaz Sharma, mostly a village idiot himself, resides in Assam.]

Vol. 52, No. 1, Jul 7 - 13, 2019